*THIS POSTING WAS WRITEN LAST FRIDAY*
Yahoooooooo to the weekend, people! We made it!
Here I sit snuggled in my bed on a gray and cloudy day in LA. Writing to you all from a place of peace and intention. Also have to share how YUMMY this post workout smoothie is that i’m sipping on.
Smoothie ingredients: Sun warrior chocolate protein, handful of spinach, 1 cup of frozen organic strawberries, 1 half an avocado, 2 tablespoons of chia seeds, 1 tablespoon of flax seed, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon and 3 cups of water. Blended to creamy, delicious perfection.
This afternoon I had a great catch up with my girlfriend over coffee and lunch. We spoke about our activities over the holidays, sharing exciting stories and stressful moments between loved ones. We chatted about our goals for the year and got deep with personal character building qualities we hoped to strengthen.
Mine was to Stop making excuses for my intuition.
As an optimistic person by default, I’m always looking for the good in someone. Often over evaluating and questioning my intuition when something just doesn’t sit right.
Intuition can be challenging to make reason for because intuition doesn’t need conscious reasoning.
Here I share a recent moment when my intuition kicked in and I made excuses to kick it out.
For the past 9 months or so, I’ve being dealing with shoulder pain. I’ve laxly searched for what was wrong and how to treat it. Eventually I scheduled an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon, diagnosing me with a shoulder impingement. This means the nerve is getting caught between my muscle and bones and causing a LOT of pain.
I tend to hold my stress in my shoulders, so I figured that getting a massage would help relax the muscles around the shoulder, giving me some relief. A masseuse that I had seen 3 times before, gave me more than I had asked for during our session as a sought to him this past week to relieve my pain. My intuition kicked in within the fist 30 minutes. That yucky feeling you get when your body may be being violated, started to flow it’s way through my veins.
The first violation happened as he tucked the sheet way too far down my bum, exposing my underwear and backside. That doesn’t seem right the little voice in my stomach said. But oh well, maybe he’s trying something different this time. The second violation happened as he brought it upon himself to fix my twisted underwear upon completion of the back massage. Uhhhhhhh ok, didn’t like that said the little voice. But oh well, it was maybe still professional because he was helping me out? The third violation came as he quietly whispered in my ear that he would give me his phone number so we can arrange a massage at my house, avoiding the salon fees. Ekkk my stomach screamed. What on earth would he try if he was at my damn apartment. Oh but he’s just trying to make it cheaper for me, I said, kicking the piling yucky feelings to the curb.
Nothing in life comes without a cost.
By this time my body was screaming to leave while at the same time my shoulder pain was quickly being released. The last two yucky feelings came when he was sweating so much as a result from the massage and huskily said, “You’re making me sweat.” That’s not a normal remark is it? Said the small voice.
The final violation came as I was laying on my back, naked with my arms stretched over my head. The next thing I know he’s massaging the side of my boobs. AH GET ME OUT OF HERE. No excuse came for that one.
We ended quickly after, I dressed and got out of the salon as as I could. It took me a week to write this posting and a week and a half to call the salon and tell them of the incident. Oh how I was trying to normalize what happened even as that little gut voice was telling me to get out of there as quickly as possible.
As I release this post to the internet, I hope it reaches someone else who’s experienced something similar.
Your body. Your rules.
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