Quiet Sunday evening…. relaxing and reflecting. There’s a soft hum coming from the kitchen fridge. Gentle peck sounds coming from my fingers hitting the keyboard.
I’m soaking in continents, happiness, sadness, curiosity, wonder, refreshment…. and more.
For years now, I had been dreaming of roaming the streets of Paris. Drinking wine. Eating a baguette. Mingling with the local french people. “Letting go” of the head down, reality driven, focused “me” and unwinding into a different culture and space. And so I planned for just that, a trip to Paris mid October of this year.
However, life had it’s own little plans for me the week before departing for Paris. I ended up spending my time off from work in NYC.
Which, was equally just as amazing and refreshing. I “let go” and put my logic to the side and let the city spill over me……enjoying central park walks, crips bike rides on the West Side Highway. Burgers and brunch at Sarabeth’s off 5 ave. The Sex and The City gals filmed an episode at Sarabeth’s so naturally I had to go check it out. As I often like to identify with any given character from the show…
Carrie had taken shape…. following her heart and her stomach for that matter. Eating and drinking all the things. 🙂
I had time to reflect on my past year.. how I was feeling.. checking in on where I was at with my soul, character, career, dating life, home life and so on….
I’ve learned a lot these past 8 months while living with my extended family. At times it poses to be very challenging. Other’s I am so filled with love and fun it spills out and washes over me. What I have learned is how to use my voice better. As someone who is not naturally confrontational, I’ve learned that given maybe 10 minutes of feeling uncomfortable talking about something is better than the matter being left. Big or small, no matter the weight of the subject, speaking your truth is important.
I’ve learned that small things I use to stress about… are really not meant to be stressed about. I’ve been able to tell myself to keep going even when I feel like shutting down and retracting. Or even retreating from a situation.
In many ways… I have grown. I have seen myself mature into more of the woman I imagine myself to be as she walks the streets. The biggest lesson is: do the work. You can read about it. Talk about it. Watch something about it. But unless you’re in it, feeling it, calculating it, WORKING on it. Change and growth will not be as great or even present at all……
As I continue to be a hopeless romantic as Carrie is…. mixed with a feisty risk taker as Samantha is……. sprinkled with a sweet and kind voice as Charlotte is….. and begrudgingly at the default to my core as Miranda is….
Life keeps going on and preparing me for the future… where larger…. harder…..hiccups will be thrown my way…..