Life’s A Little Seed Amongst The Weeds
Tonight I lay in bed, starring at the ceiling. I’ve been here in the darkness, under the warm safety of my bed covers, tossing, turning, and thinking. Thinking, why the heck can’t I sleep? My mind has drifted to places i’d rather it not go… it’s funny how we fear this so. The dark boxed up corners we label as “fear” with a big red sharpie. Notes written, “Do not Enter, or Else.” This past month I have felt quiet on edge… for reasons that now feel small. I let myself know they are still valid and real in this reality, but that I am lucky at the base of it all to have the support, love and care received and given by my family and friends. While lunching with a friend today in LA, he let me know that one of his friends whom I’ve met and seen around, tragically lost his dad a few months ago. Amidst my daily fears, stresses, worries and woes- my heart contracted and my stomach sank as I had a moment of really feeling how precious and short life can be. We take it for granted that we wake up every morning, breathing. Feeling. Seeing. Smelling. Tasting. And it a moment- it can all be gone.
In this moment I am present, happy and grateful for my life, my friends, my career, my family and all the wonderful moments life can give. They can easily get clouded and gray as we move throughout our days just trying to survive. That’s all it is, really. Trying to survive and provide for ourselves and our loved ones. Trying to build careers to provide food, shelter and clothes on our back. Trying to create moments and memories with people we care about while still maintaining life’s everyday ‘stuff’.
With a heart that continues to beat…. I take a moment to thank the universe for each and every day and hope to reflect on this message again when I eventually loose my way..